21st Century Parenting

Stress free Parenting tips in 21st Century

Published On: January 23, 2019 , Updated on : May 28, 2024

Stress Free Parenting in 21st Century

 

What is Definition of Parenting ?

A real parent is the one who helps his children to eradicate their personality defects and imbibe good qualities. However, today’s parents feel that buying costly clothes and eatables and paying high fees for coaching classes are their only duties. They fail to understand that these things make the children desirous of only worldly pleasures. These pleasures nurture defects in them. So, parents have to introspect whether they are giving true education to their children. It is the duty of parents to help their children to imbibe good qualities and thus, lead a happy life.

Only happy parents can generate a happy generation

Only happy parents can generate a happy generation. In order to create good sanskars (subconscious impressions) on children’s mind there should be good communication between the parents and children. Only parents who are free from stress can teach their children to live a stress-free life.

They can communicate with their child easily. Children do not feel like talking to parents who are always under stress. They do not feel like conveying their ideas, thoughts and problems to such parents. Hence, it is necessary that the parents remain stress-free.

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Reasons for stress in parents

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1. Always living in the past

Parents whose minds are always dwelling in the past cannot communicate with their children. Children easily forget their past and always live in the present; hence they are always happy. We always recollect the incidents and happenings of the past and keep on carrying the burden of bad experiences faced in the past. So, when children try to talk to us, we are not in a condition to listen to them and understand them. Hence, we must always try to live in the present.

2. Negative talk & approach

Negative statements like, ‘You do not know anything’, ‘you are useless’, hurt children tremendously. Physical injuries get healed, but the hurt caused on one’s mind is not easily healed. So we should be always positive in our approach and speech while talking to children. Our talk should be such that it should encourage children.

3. Not accepting our mistakes in front of children

Accepting our mistakes reduces the stress on our mind. Children develop respect for us. Since children try to impersonate their parents, they too learn to accept their mistakes honestly. When we hide our mistakes, we become tense. Children realise all our mistakes. So, when we don’t accept our mistakes, they feel, ‘My mother and father do not accept their mistakes, then why should I?’ This develops a subtle rift between the children and parents.

4. Constantly trying to find faults with the children

If we constantly try to find faults with our children we will always remain tense. Instead, we should try to notice their good qualities and acknowledge them. As a result, children too realise and accept their personality defects as time passes and try to eradicate them. If we look at the virtues of our children instead of finding faults with them, we shall always remain in a state of bliss.

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5. Preserving one’s personal image while talking to children

Many parents are careful to preserve their image with respect to their position in the society even while talking to their children. Parents will never be able to communicate efficiently with their children if they have pride in their mind about the position they occupy in society. In such a situation, parents are under stress and children disregard them. Parents should behave naturally with their children forgetting their career and their position in the society. Only then will they be able to remain happy and bring up their children efficiently.

6. Speaking authoritatively

Children do not like when their parents speak with them authoritatively. Instead of speaking with authority, we should talk lovingly with them. We do not feel like accepting something that is told authoritatively. Thus we should remember that, talking authoritatively results in stress, whereas talking lovingly results in bliss.

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7. Forgetting that children too have Divine principle in them

While communicating with children we must always remember that, every child has Divine Principle in him. Respect the Divine Principle in them while speaking to them. So, while speaking to children, do not think that you are talking to a person; instead, think that you are speaking to the Divine principle. This will help in removing the stress and will help in you in experiencing bliss.

9. Not explaining properly

Everything must be explained to children properly. While speaking to children we must go down to their level; only then, will the child respect us and listen to us. Thus, if the child is in the 1st standard, then the parent should communicate with him at that level. However, because of ego, parents are reluctant to go down to the level of the children while speaking to them and thus, children fail to respect and listen to them. This develops stress in their minds. Parents must understand that they can minimize their stress if they communicate with children by going down to their level

10. No communication with children

No one is available to listen to the problems faced by the children. Parents are busy with their work, whereas teachers are only concerned about completing their syllabus. As a result, children are mentally confused. They lose respect and faith in their parents. Parents are stressed because children do not listen to them. Casual talk brings them together. So, it is very essential that parents take out time to sit and talk casually with their children for at-least 15 minutes daily. This will help in minimizing stress and will result in happiness.

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11. High expectations

Children do not like when we converse with them with expectations in our mind. Since their ego is very less, they immediately perceive vibrations of expectations. We should converse with them without having any expectations. Love exists where there are no expectations. Thus, instead of expecting that, ‘My son will take care of me in my old age, he will retain and enhance my reputation in the society’, it is advisable to think, ‘God is there to take care of me always’.


66 responses to “Stress free Parenting tips in 21st Century”

  1. Felicia Hassell Avatar
    Felicia Hassell

    i need help as a single mom

    1. Haz Avatar

      We want to help you. Please email to mylifetherapist@gmail.com
      This is free service.
      (please note our website is under construction, will be ready in a couple of weeks)

      1. Kulsoom Hassan Avatar
        kulsoom hassan

        Thank you. This helped me a little

        1. Ayaan Avatar

          Am interested in want to do parents clases free course

    2. Nisha Laungani Avatar
      Nisha Laungani

      I too need help as a single parent

    3. Vidya Avatar
      vidya

      Above all this…it dwpwnds totally on outer world situations and challenges what child parent faces…eg in school home office….THE WORD STRESS DEPENDS ON OUTER ENVIRONMENT…..WHICH SHOULD NOT AFFECT US…THE POLICIES THE WAY OF WORK ETC ETC.ETC.

  2. Ashish Jadhav Avatar
    Ashish jadhav

    Fees in school

    1. Gurukul Arts Avatar
      Gurukul Arts

      We Appreciate your Interest with Gurukul, Fees differ form Branch to Branch So, May you know your Interested Branch ?

    2. Josiah Avatar
      josiah

      Same here… gonna miss my final exams and end of term projects.

  3. Shyla Cr Avatar
    Shyla CR

    Good information.. Thanks for sharing..

    1. Oscar Avatar
      oscar

      Thanks for the information it helped me a lot.thanks again

      1. Gurukul Arts Avatar
        Gurukul Arts

        we are glad to listen this..

  4. Gina Avatar
    Gina

    I want to develop a positive approach parenting to my A.d.h.d. son..sometimes i lost my patience..so with my husband cant hold his temper and always says negative words to my son..please..please help me.. in my problem..god bless us always

    1. Nesar Ahmad Avatar
      Nesar Ahmad

      I need help here too. Similar issue with me and my son too. Can some one advise

  5. Anonymous Avatar

    It is interesting that young children are taught the violence of Marshall arts but not the respect that should go with it. It is taught at schools and obviously improperly as my grandson knows only the violent part

  6. Mithil Majumder Avatar

    What if I am absolutely right in my doings and my parents don’t know much about my doings ?

    1. Sameer Mohammed Avatar
      Sameer Mohammed

      Why is that your parents dont know much about you. As a thumb role, do anything in life that can be shared with your parents but dont do anything that you cant tell your parents.

      1. Bhavika Avatar
        Bhavika

        Exactly!!! Correct to the T.

  7. Subhransu Avatar
    Subhransu

    Please share more of such things with me on daily basis, so that can be a good parent to my child. Thank you so much for opening our eyes.

  8. Bose Ironsi Avatar
    bose Ironsi

    interesting piece , i really love this , i am a marriage counselor in a church for 23 yrs taking parenting , i am really glad i visited the site

  9. Thai Vichet Avatar
    Thai Vichet

    hello, my name is Thai Vichet and I am 14 years old boy who is constantly being shouted and being blamed at for everything that I didn’t do wrong. Please help me. How should I approach her?

    1. Sameer Avatar
      Sameer

      Spend time with your parents. Talk to them. Reduce the generation and communication gap. share your feelings and at the same time also understand theirs. A lot of misconceptions and issues can we removed when we communicate our feelings. Let your parents know what you are and what you love to do. Tell them politely and lovingly how you feel when you are shouted at.

  10. Harsha Ghogle Avatar
    Harsha ghogle

    Thanks for the valuable message. But please help me .my son has lots of negativety in him. He picks up always negative things first in everything eg I can’t do, . So do I help him to see positivety in the world.

    1. Haz Avatar

      Please check where he is picking up negativity. How old is he? Remove the sources and replace it with positive influence

  11. Jenny Avatar
    jenny

    i have a hyperactive son who doesn’t like to study and hate to go school and day care. Im always lost my patient towards him and started to yell and beat him. I’m a person who get angry very fast. Me and partner always have arguments because of him. Please advise.

    1. Sameer Mohammed Avatar
      Sameer Mohammed

      I assume your child has ADHD. Please understand that this is not his fault. Seriously and urgently you need to learn to control your anger. Never beat your child. It is true that children with ADHD dont like to or cant focus on studies. Or cant focus on anything that needs focus. For eg., threading the beads. Their attention span is very short and they will lose focus all the time. Shouting or beating is not the corrective measure. Engage your child in sports and games that involve physical activity like football, tennis, badminton, volley ball, basket balls, cycling, swimming etc. These kind of activities will help in venting his extra energy. For focusing these type of children need to be engaged and activating more senses. Eg., vision, hearing, touching, etc.

      It would be a better option to see a child psychologist or a professional counselor. Not only for your child but for the parents as well.

      1. Mariam Avatar

        I would like to become a better parent but i myself am maybe ADD. Because i also have had issues in focusing and learning in school and in every step of my life due to which i make rash decisions and sometime end up yelling on my kids and fight with my family because things gets messed up in head also i might be a little ocd because when something doesnt happen my way or isnt kept in a certain place or isnt done at certain time i get anxious and start being angry at my poor child.

  12. Durva Avatar
    Durva

    I am mother of 3 years old daughter….she is very aggressive and egoistic. When she in anger she can do anything hurting herself and not in control she don’t need mother that time but after sometime she will be normal. Her father in navy. My daughter stay with me alone… everyone saying she is missing father but we don’t have option

  13. Shruti Avatar

    Great article! This post is very helpful to all the parents so that they can recognize their mistakes and change their behaviour towards their children. I would like to share this post with my sister too. Keep sharing such helpful tips with the parents.

  14. Carolyne Mukiisa Avatar
    Carolyne Mukiisa

    I am single mom of four year boy,my life is stressed,unhappy and sometimes I get rude to my son as I feel am not happy in my situation with my son. please I need your help.
    Thank you so much.

    1. Haz Avatar

      Carolyne, this is a typical example, where what you have, you pass on to others. You are stressed and you are passing it on to your son. This is detrimental to you, to him, and to his future generations as he will pass it on. Please get help to resolve your issues first. Get help. Contact http://www.haztherapy.com.
      I give free advice mostly.

  15. Seipone Maselwane Avatar
    Seipone Maselwane

    This article is very helpful for mothers of young kids what kind of help do you have for adults who are now parents and have had those useless unkinds words said to them as kids and adults can you help.

  16. […] ប្រភព៖ gurukul […]

    1. Gurukularts Avatar
      gurukularts

      Thank You

  17. Vickson Avatar

    Good piece! Appreciated. Control of anger in circumstances is not easy! When you have gone out of the context, this is when you realize you shouldn’t have mistreated you kind children! For me I have that weakness to lose the understanding of some minor (to me) mistakes children do! And bad enough, I sometimes beat them unwillingly.

  18. Von Avatar
    Von

    Very helpful.

  19. Lydia Avatar
    Lydia

    Thank you for sharing this with me.

  20. Ngah O'Don Avatar
    Ngah O’Don

    Thank you so much for this write-up. It’s been so helpful

  21. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    I am in a similar situation, I pray everyday for God’s help.

  22. W Mafa Avatar
    W Mafa

    Thank you so much for useful hints

  23. Muhammad Shoaib Avatar

    Great job 👍
    Keep doing ❤️🙏

    1. Parth Savaliya Avatar

      Jay Swaminarayan

  24. Tarun Jindal Avatar

    Being a parent is always challenging and it becomes more challenging for single parents. The parenting blog sites help a lot of parents like me to get going with the flow.

  25. Melina Avatar
    melina

    I think my case is a bit different, i’m 25 and live with my parents who always look for faults in me, they always complain when i go out with friends or come back from work abit late. according to them i should just stay home and do the chores, nothing more, lately i even thought of finding my own place to live with my daughter because sometimes my mom encourages her to insult me..do you guys think i will be able to live independently?

    1. Haz Avatar

      You will need to believe in yourself and in your abilities. When you are able to access your inner resources, you will have confidence and strength to live on your own and then the universe will begin to help you. If you need further guidance contact via http://www.haztherapy.com

  26. Carolyne Avatar
    Carolyne

    I have a nine years old boy who is very star born, I do talk to him like daily, do not do this nor that but he keeps on doing what he’s told not to do, help me on what to do because I’m not good in punishment

    1. Haz Avatar

      There could deeper issues here. If you wish to discuss, contact http://www.haztherapy.com

    2. Kyakulagira Abdullatwif Avatar

      One thing I know a father must be a role model to his boy. Buh madam Carolyn punishment is not the best way to parent your son, always task him and keep talking mother’s don’t get tired at talking

  27. Deepti Avatar
    Deepti

    i need help as a single mom

  28. Ehi Lucia Adikwu Avatar
    Ehi Lucia Adikwu

    Great piece. Very much needed right now. What can be said about those children that take you for granted once you become too familiar with them?

  29. Ayeen Avatar
    Ayeen

    I need help, I’ve been stressed in my son. He’s like different from other child . He always go on his tantrums. Pls help me with this.

  30. Lavanya Avatar
    Lavanya

    I need help too my kid is becoming secretive and not sharing these days.The last straw was when my kid took money from my purse without my permission how to handle an adolescent kid at home who revels for everything eleven for going for a walk!!!

  31. Kyakulagira Abdullatwif Avatar

    Am Kyakulagira Abdullatwif am 22 years now am a child from acertain family arleady moved from the family.
    I have a problem since I was but 4 years of age. My father seems never liked my existence wen I was that age he tried to kill me en I was saved by my dear mum. It’s a long story cutting it short. Now grown I have been trying to get close to him making all the possible to be friends am now tired coz everything I do is never appreciated ist faulted now he’s cussing me. That I find my another father. Never to get close to him because of job issue which I try to do a quality product to make him popular. I am hear asking your guidance what can I do move on and forget about Father or continue fighting for attention which now for 18 years is never given

  32. Michelle Avatar
    Michelle

    My eldest is 11 years old. We always fight because she doesn’t listen to what I say to her, and sometimes when I get so very angry I would beat her. And she always say that she don’t want me anymore and she said she hate me. We don’t talk or bond like mother and daughter. Please advice me, thank you.

  33. Rajesh Avatar
    Rajesh

    My son is 16 years of age now and I feel I couldn’t teach him the right values as a father. He seems to be behind in terms of maturity and understanding according to his age. He does not study and has become addicted to online games where he connects with strangers who corner him, bully him and peopmt him to use foul language. I want him to be a good human being even if not a great student. How can I connect with my son and guide him to the right path ?

  34. Chiny Avatar
    chiny

    i am mother of 10 month old she is very choosey she dont want anything i am working women and a single mother by sister take care of her in my absence when ever i am home and available i always try to make different food for her and being mother i always worried about her food but she always disappointed me with not eating any thing which makes me upset and at time my aggression level is high even she is not giving me a time to sleep she is not interesting in playing 🙁

  35. Jaimie Avatar
    Jaimie

    Thank You so much. I do my best to be as positive as possible with my child and do gentle parenting but in the past year I find myself mentally drained with my son. He is very unmotivated; he is quite clever but don’t wanna make any effort, even teacher says at school that he is very capable and has high potential but so unmotivated. I talked at home to practice his homework but sometimes up in frustration from both of us. I am having terrible issues with him wearing clothes, most of the time there is outbursts with wearing clothes and shoes. I dont know what to do. Talking calmly and also raise my voice not helping.

    I am really grateful for your help

    Thank You

    Jaimie

  36. Asmita Kasote Avatar
    Asmita Kasote

    Thank you so much for this article. After reading this article, my mind became calm and understood how should I behave with my children. And also made me realise my mistakes while dealing with my kids. Thanks a ton.

  37. Abhijit Avatar
    Abhijit

    I have 8 years old daughter she is too much stubborn not at all show interest in studying always inactive in class, teacher always complaint about her, I always try to communicate with her but she have no interest in talking how can I get a solution of my issue.

  38. Appiah Janet Avatar
    Appiah Janet

    thanks so much for the massage and please I need help as a single mother of two girls

  39. Baby Critique Avatar

    I need help too my kid is becoming secretive and not sharing these days.The last straw was when my kid took money from my purse without my permission how to handle an adolescent kid at home who revels for everything eleven for going for a walk!!!

  40. Lillian Avatar
    Lillian

    This is really nice. Thanks

  41. Satya Dev Avatar
    Satya Dev

    My kid is in 11th Non Medical ,he chose himself these subjects.Now he is lying and not appearing in class tests.
    Why he is lying could not understand I never punished him physically as well as verbally.

    1. Haz Avatar

      He might have some anxiety created by parents unknowingly. Please check what you are doing to make him feel not talk to you freely.

  42. Dhahabu Avatar
    Dhahabu

    This has helped,thank you. the major challenge [n one sex schools currently is LGBTQ. In my country, this is taboo. I have a child in grade 11 who was implicated and suspended, this has caused me a lot of stress. please guide me.

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